Here I am in Bulgaria, right?  Sofia, to be exact.

I checked Happycow.net for vegetarian restaurant outlets in Bulgaria, and the only ones seem to be in Sofia.  Only two of those are completely vegetarian, and don’t the buggers feel their power!

The food is great, but I have never experienced such harassment anywhere.

I got to Sofia, eventually, yesterday, hoping to go to my favourite vegetarian restaurant, which turns out to be closed until 15th August.

Why is it my favourite restaurant?  Is it because English media has been flooded, to my mind, at least, with images of it and suggestions that that is where I should go?  I am a very suggestible person, and I might have got that wrong.

So here I am, back in the only viable alternative, really – Dream House, the restaurant where one of the chefs broke into an aggressive cackle and said I was restaurant crawling (but not to ME, you understand), and then, the last time I was here, he put a CD on, just as I was leaving, which was what I understand to be heavy metal, saying something about a man shoving his cock in a woman’s mouth (please excuse me, those are the words of the song, which I need to repeat so you can understand how sexually molested I felt as I left that day.

Anyway, today here I am, having needed somewhere to eat.  It started off OK, I was fairly much in control of how I was relating and of my experience.  The man didn’t seem to be around, so that felt safe enough.

I watched some TV on the internet, yesterday’s news, and as I was packing up to go the woman behind the desk said, in English, ‘she’s so rude!’

When I went to pay, I asked her about it, and she denied that it had happened.  She said she always spoke in Bulgarian,  So I said possibly it had been a customer, and accepted I might have been wrong.  Then she became defiant and started laughing at me, saying it was my paranoia, not  theirs. Like, it’s paranoid to call restaurant staff on their rudeness and be upset when they lie about it, especially when my own reason for adopting veganism was spiritual and moral.  I don’t get it.

Anyway, no one stuck up for me, and just now the second girl on shift sat down with a couple of friends, and they were turning round and looking at me and talking.  I can only assume that they were saying what had happened.  They seem to think there is never an excuse for being angry, at least not for me, but they themselves are so rude and either they don’t care about putting it right, or they have strange ideas of how they should.

I hate Bulgaria so far. Every time I try and adjust that and be happy I’m faced with the same stuff.  I have no idea what they are trying to do.  Do they want a bit of me to rub off on them because I am English and they think I am charmed?  I’ve got to praying, ‘OK, God, let them have it.  Let them know how it feels to be me.  Let them experience it themselves’.  I hope they do.  RT et al are dishonest people hiding in the shadows if they refuse to recognise that imprecatory prayers belong to the New Testament as well as the Old.  Peter and Paul both prayed them.  RT et al are hiding behind cowardly dishonesty if they refuse people’s right today to do the same thing.  Anyway, these guys here think they are above anything negative.  I have to carry it on my own, and it’s my problem if I have a problem with that.  It’s my problem if I don’t like restaurant staff calling me rude, laughing with each other, then when I ask them about it they deny it and laugh at me, calling me paranoid.  Squeeky clean vegetarian restaurant, even when they are being abusive.  I’m the one that is supposed to come down out of my miff tree, and if it wasn’t an expectation that I was being vilified for not meeting, that would be the most comfortable thing for me to do.

Fuck em.  It’s not that I don’t care.  How can I not in a situation with such limited options that I thought was going to be good but has turned out to be so thuggishly cruel?

But fuck em anyway.

The worst thing is, when push comes to shove, my ‘favourite’ restaurant is just as bad.  Yesterday I felt we could make progress.  Why?  never mind.  But I get the impression they are reporting me to each other, so I suppse today’s people are going to mess it up for me, even if it could have turned round.  How is it that I always manage to end up being made to feel like the one in the wrong?

Shortly after I came in the man said ‘Jesus’.  In view of the fact that he has subsequently been completely offensive to me and allowed his staff to be (is he the owner?) without making an effort to put it right, I find that in itself completely offensive.  I’m tired of feeling I have to go through life making allowances for everyone but myself.

Advertisements