Look, I’m sorry, but there is a legally powerful label which has been put on me here, mental illness in the form of schizophrenia, and you people are consciously using the stuff of my life and not removing the label, and I’m not sure what is going on in your minds or how you validate either your reasoning or what you are doing.  I saw Aled’s startled reaction when he sang at the end about humble adoration in How Great Thou Art, it was a very caught out look and, I believe, obviously significant, having been there myself, as we all have.  He looks a lot like John Pantry these days, I’m wondering what the connection is, I’m sure there must be one.  What on earth does he think he is doing?  There is no excuse for this, at all.  It is sick, and no wonder I am.

Russell Watson shares my birthday.  I’m not sure when his career started, the first I knew I heard him on the James Whale show.  But he shares my birthday.

I listened to Clyde Sandry at the Christian Centre this morning, and realised he is using my voice.  Also the bits that jar, I’ve decided that is where they jump on to the next thing without making an adequate vocalised connection, probably because to do so would expose too much.  As I listened this morning I thought, ‘oh yeah?  What is that bit you haven’t said, then?’

They started emphasising the big sing as soon as I left London.  I used to sing in my flat and I was abused by my neighbours.  Now suddenly they have decided that getting everyone singing is the answer, and not the stuff of nuisance neighbours.  But that was my point, the point of someone whose life depended on it.  These people are just using it to further their careers and standing among the people they want approval from, and leaving me, the person who insisted on it at the risk of my own liberty and body, out in the cold unless I respond to their voices and commands.

I feel like the host here.  I have nothing of my own left, no voice, no life, no nothing, because these birds of the air have been utilising it for years.

All of these people’s talking up and words of affirmation do not make the thing or activity they affirm right.  And their faces shine like the sun, but it is a bit sick and watery these days, if you ask me, and I hope people will see through that and start asking questions.  Study their faces.  Look at all the guilty shifting of their eyes.  Tell me I’m wrong.

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