I started recording Premier Radio at about 8.50 am UK time, and I just started to listen. I had started in the middle of a song, and at the end John Pantry played a testimony by a woman about Premier helping her to calm down, then he said Esther was joining him on the line, and said something about someone waving a piece of paper at him all smiles.

He does this kind of obvious intervention all the time.

Apart from the fact that it is criminal, what do I have against him? Several things, but the last time I saw him at Premier (I was acting a bit like the building’s ghost at the time) I met him in the lift going out, and apologised for lying about a small incident, I can’t remember what, something to do with the lift, and explained that I had been embarrassed.  I think I had met him in the lift on a previous occasion.   When we got outside he turned away sucking his teeth.

If he hasn’t changed, it still matters.  As it should.  It doesn’t really matter emotionally, but it does in other ways.  All his approaches feel like an assault.  I have a right to know what is going on on the radio without having him or others interfering with me like that.  It’s like a confrontational ‘hello’, which I used to get from people on the door at St Barnabas.  Confrontational hellos are not friendly.

They come at you like a tidal wave, and make you feel wrong and powerless.  But they shouldn’t be doing it.  I’m not going into the studio.  I am recording the radio at home.

They are obviously hiding something, or they wouldn’t need to be so confrontational and interceptive.   They want to take charge of me for some reason, in a way that an open and direct approach wouldn’t allow them to.  Common sense says it must be some sort of damage limitation exercise.  Blow the damage their harshness and undisclosed false accusations have done to me and mine, specifically, for decades.

Damn them.

In Jesus’ Name

Amen.

John is a naughty, sniggering boy caught out in the act.  He comes on with the gravitas, but he’s a naughty, sniggering boy.  I don’t want to love him.  I want to hate him for what he has done to me and what he has taken.

Sorry, John.

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