All the time.  pathetic, out of control little tears.  They keep deliberately crossing legal boundaries.  When it is supposed to go quiet, they make a point of starting their noise, and have done for weeks.  The law might be in flux, but that one is reasonable and right and some people need it.  I do myself, at the moment.

I need to face it, I am living underneath the neighbours from hell.  I just get confused because they keep piping and shouting hallelujah and snatching at the air with their speech.  Before a thought comes, they are aware of it, and of the nature of my feelings/experience listening to the radio.  They start saying hallelujah if it is good or I am enjoying it or relaxing,and I can’t stand it.  If my eyes prick with tears, as they just did, began to fill, they go silent (they should be anyway) and/or say ‘dobre’ (good).  I feel pathetic, I can’t cope.  They seem to have decided to have a party, or at least to put some music on, and they chose to start at 11pm.

They’ve had me worked up and retaliating tonight.  They love it.  Before a thought comes they are aware of it.  That is Bible, Psalm 139, but for them it is coupled with and accessed by violence and torture, psychological, emotional and spiritual.  I don’t know where I am with them.

I couldn’t cope with secular radio earlier, so I thought I’d have a few seconds of Premier.  It was only a few seconds, and I realised it had had a homeopathic effect.  My mind was quiet and their shouting and hallelujahs stopped.  But then someone rang my doorbell, which I took as harassment and ignored, but later realised it might not have been.  It was as I felt the hallelujahs had stopped and wouldn’t start again, but they wouldn’t let go of them.  They started the violent banging, and they always impose a sound of their own over a sound of mine, especially from my body, like speech.

I think it’s occult.  I don’t think it is just me being paranoid.  I’m so tired.  I feel unreasonable not apologising and just being nice and getting on.  I was awake all night last night.  I’m desperately tired.  They refuse to stop.  They seem to be tearing at me and trying to dominate me, break me down.  I’ve heard of ‘tapping into’.  Is this where the expression comes from?  I have plenty I feel guilty about with them, but they are using it to drag me around.  Every thought and feeling that formulates, they are there with a comment or a bang, tonight it has been mainly comments.

I’m confused and have plenty of reason to be.  Vince Cable tried to push the ‘profound mental illness’ angle last night on Question Time.  There were people on the programme asking questions who had names like John Knight, and people were reacting to all sorts of things.  Vince Cable was cornered and vicious.  He hit David Blunkett with something about his blindness and knocked him reeling by its viciousness, and people were uncomfortable and coughing.  I’d never heard anything like it from politicians, it was unbelievable.  To go for a blind man with a savage remark about his blindness.  David was visibly shocked and upset, and people tried to make excuses, but I don’t think there can be any that would be acceptable and none should have been allowed.  I was upset myself.  David Dimbleby, a bit later, touched his own face as if touching a tear, and I almost broke down.  I suppose I did a little.

She just cried out in alarm when I began to feel the experience again and talk about tears and breaking down.  This is constant.  It isn’t mental illness, it’s a phenomenon.  They were full of hate and rubbish before I even opened my mouth.  I was screaming in pain needing an ambulance, and they never came near me, in my first month here.

I’m not sure what the status of parties is here at this time. I’m too tired to find out, but if I don’t challenge them they go on to take more liberties.  They’ve decided to laugh every few seconds, loudly.  I feel a fool.  I just want to sleep, and to have my legal rights respected, and they do everything to show me they are not.