10.48 pm 20.11.2010

This page is under construction and subject to reorganisation.  At the moment I just need to put it out.

It appears that my neighbours are provoking incidents and reporting them to the media, which is feeding them back to me and taking my neighbours’ side.  I noticed that today with Newsround and the girl talking about cat power.  She was acting like my neighbours.  It was a story about a cat and an alligator.  I chose the name alligator for Tommy Boyd’s forum, years ago.  As soon as I mentioned the name of Jesus they banned me for years, and I haven’t contributed since.  I can’t remember what their excuse was, but I found it outrageously dishonest and personally demeaning.  I would not now go back.

The cat and alligator story was about a cat seeing off an alligator.  It came after an item about J K Rowling and Harry Potter.  The poster behind them said something like, ‘there is no place to hide’.  That is how I feel about what is happening to me.  The other day a programme featured a song I like, ‘wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you’, and openly treated it with a dark twist, which was really apposite to a stalking situation.

I haven’t checked out when J K Rowling started writing the Harry Potter books.  I know that this thing with me has been in the media for a long time, so I thought it might not be unrealistic to believe that she was commissioned to write them as part of that.  Narrowcasting (Tommy Boyd’s term) woven and constructed with the products of direct stalking (investigative journalism?) plus the popularisation of witchcraft against someone who gets put in hospital every time she opens her mouth might finish anyone off, one way or another.  They were trying to out me as a paedophile, which I am not, needless to say.  Tommy Boyd did this years ago.  On one of his shows which I have downloaded he talked about paedophilia and used my name, all of it, but divided up by a few other words, and I think even the name of my street and my area.  Or it might have been that he was talking to another celebrity who lives on the next road to me and whom I had met.  He said, ‘just round the corner from you’.  The trouble with showing my hand like this is that it gives people an opportunity to lie.  I know the celebrity’s name, I’m not using it out of kindness.

Even if the Harry Potter books were not specifically directed for my personal discomfort, I do believe that the popularisation of witchcraft is deliberately an anti-Christian move, especially when I and so many of the people I know are being subjected to this kind of narrowcasting.  There are many books teaching children and teenagers about witchcraft.  I don’t think it is just psychologically offensive, I think there is a real power in it, and when it and Christianity meet it produces what, in my old church, would have been called a ‘power encounter’.  I don’t know, maybe its power IS only on a psychological level, but the point is, the people using it are doing so in order to give themselves a position of power over a thing or person, and that in itself can’t be good.  But with the manifestations that go with it, there has to be more to it than that.  I heard a female presenter say recently that she had a ‘thick tongue’.  It didn’t look to me as if she received any sympathy from her co-presenters.  I find it frightening when it happens to me, especially given the nature of what is happening in my own locality where I don’t speak the language.  It is a relationship thing, primarily.  We might call it vigilantism or harassment, but that doesn’t help with dealing with it or understanding it.  But the experience is always sickening and shocking to me.  That is the way they are choosing to survive, and I can’t cope with it.  They won’t go to the police.  I’ve told them clearly, with my limited Bulgarian, that that is what they should do, but they don’t.  They just keep on at me, either at me or around me, and I can’t deal with it.

I appreciated Boris Johnson’s remarks about social engineering and sociological cleansing, because that is what this seems to be about, culturally and religiously.  I have used the term ‘social engineering’ myself, as he probably knows.  I hope very much that he will oppose the harassment and sociological cleansing of Christians on his watch.  I can say this, because I know it isn’t only happening to me, I hear other people talk.  Although as someone with a mental health diagnosis most Christians are not my favourite people and I don’t let them come at me all oceanic anymore.  It is more important to use your mind than to enjoy and jealously guard the feelings of Oceania.

They use terms like ‘crazy’ and ‘mad’.  They might just as well resurrect racial terms of abuse and start throwing them around as openly and unashamedly.  As it is I recently heard an embedded race hate remark from an Asian presenter about white people.  Whatever its motivation, it was deliberate, when it should not have been there at all.  I would not have had the face to do that, but this woman did.

Even if you posture yourselves as learning about mental illness, with such a sensitive and controversial subject, where the psychiatric profession itself is divided and some people don’t even see psychiatry as a true science and area of medicine, I believe it would be preferable if you did not use a public information vehicle to do your learning, especially if you are going to come to easy conclusions which are an offence to psychiatry’s victims.

That is an evil thing to do to someone you all know to be vulnerable, and then you run your hypocritical news stories about schizophrenics who might not have killed if they had maintained their medication regime.  I get the impression you’re pushing for enforced medication for all ‘schizophrenics’.  And yet you do this.  All your dissonances, all your stoney gorgon faces you adopt, then at the end you switch and go out on a high or on a violent in some way.

You are not going to get away with this.  Writing helps me.  It makes me not want to say the harsh thing I wanted to say.  But what I wanted to say, and only God knows whether or not this is right, is that I hope and pray that all the violence you are visiting on me will be visited back on you many times over.

As Tommy Boyd used to say, ‘there is no forgiveness’.  I don’t want to pray for mercy for you.  I believe it would be wasted and a disservice to your victims.

You can stand your ground, standing or sitting or whatever, but it has been gained illegally.  You have no right to the ground you are standing on.

You are empowering these people to rape me in every way except physically.

This is reactionary, very much so, but this situation NEEDS a reaction and exposure.  Not all reactionary behaviour is right, but this IS.

Newsreaders putting out bait then looking down and blanking the viewers, putting on blank faces, pitting the energy of their bodies against us.  Creating dissonance where there should be sympathy.  Creating and maintaining separation where there should be an opportunity to feel connected.

You people have an agenda, you very much do.  If you say you do not, you are liars and hypocrites.  You are institutions of hatred run by hateful and cowardly people who would rather do this to people than lose their power and more besides.

Sunday March 13th 2011

2.30 pm UK time.

Peter Dobbie, BBC World News/Dobby the House Elf.  Peter just fired out the word ‘Gower’ as soon as I accessed this page, because I have made this connection before.  They are using a stream of relevant words in really strict and stern tones, deliberately, all the time.  They obviously feel challenged, or they wouldn’t need to resort to such savagery and deviousness.  They know exactly how to hurt me, and the timing is always right.  Including all the ‘now you see me, now you don’t’ routines.

I went on a church camp to the Gower Peninsula as a teenager.  Peter Dobbie introduced the name at the end of his session then disappeared.  Then an Irish lady took his place and picked it up and carried on with it as if it was completely insignificant and only part of the report on Japan.  She’s using a modulated and whining tone.  It feels like mockery and I believe it is.  I paused between ‘mockery’ and the end of the sentence.  I was going to say something like ‘and I know it is’, but they crashed something in the studio again.  I believe the way they do this routinely while eyeballing us is a part of setting up this complete psychological terrorism they are using.  It wipes my mind with its enormity every time they do it.

The thing is, they have a problem now.  Even if they try to turn and be nice, I’ve had enough.  They sit in there presenting bits they are getting from direct stalking and hacking of my computer (running and wheeling with their voices every time I start to make this kind of observation) and presenting them in the tone they do, therapeutic/religious/strict and stern, as if they are something perceptive which has just occurred to them.  Please tune in to BBC World News and look at this Irish witch in full flight, fluttering her eyelashes in assumed, girlish, wide-eyed horror/innocence..