1st December 2011

Last morning I switched Premier on just in time to hear a lady say that there are ways to imprison people around election time.  John Pantry was obviously uncmfortable with that.  It could have been for any reason.

This morning I switched on to hear them talking about tatoos, and John saying “no” in firm tones.

About two weeks ago I was taken to hospital with severe stress symptoms.  I had thrown my coat off at home because I was so hot, and my new address was in the pocket.  I left it indoors.  I stayed overnight in a hotel room and the next day I emailed the estate agent to ask her to send me my new address so I could go home! She emailed it very quickly, and I replied with a joke about tatooing it to my arm.

On Friday I emailed her about the situation here asking her for help.  I haven’t looked at my emails yet today, but by the end of yesterday I had still received no reply.  But John Pantry and lizzie Crowe, today, were talking about tatoos.  Yesterday they were talking in familiar disciplinary tones about “what have you done?” They were talking about things done for the first time, but for me that wasn’t the message.  What have I done?  My answer? – got completely hysterical in an illegal situation where no one who should help is helping, and where people around me act as if they are rioting.  And where John Pantry, sitting in a radio studio 2,000 miles away, and whose authority I have made clear to him I reject because of the stalking, is making a communication about an email that was not sent to him, to someone I have not given his details to, and no in authority here or who I am approaching for help is saying anything to me about anything.

David Shearman, or one of his staff, at the Christian Centre in Nottingham, played a cruel head game with me the other day.  He set me up to believe that my upstairs neighbours are in touch with him.  The people who bang violently and shout?  So whenever I think of them I think he is in relationship with them, and it is making an equal relationship with them impossible for me. For one thing, if they are in relationship with him, how did this come about?  2,000 miles away where I happen to live? There can be no equality or fairness in such a set up, because they would be relating to me through him and over my head (in every sense!), and banging and shouting at the same time, daily, and riding anything they hear coming out of my apartment, whether from me or the tv or radio or computer, in such a shocking and blatant way I can’t cope with it.

I have rejected the authority of stalking Christians, at whatever level and in whatever field.  What they are doing would be harassment anyway, but since they know this, and because I have asked them to use proper legal channels for what they want to do rather than try to insist on a right they no longer have and that I no longer grant them, to make a church discipline issue out of it, it is at least doubly so.

So if there is a crisis here, and for whatever reason, watching and listening to what I watch and listen to leaves me feeling it is an international crisis, even if that is not true, then the powers that be, whoever they are and however many in whatever sphere at whatever level, are resorting to illegal stalking and harassment and intimidation to deal with it?  “These things ought not so to be”.

I’m not sure what I am seeing with BBC World News or any other secular media.  They seem to be moralising a lot, and I feel they are working together with the church and with the church’s blessing to resist me. I don’t know if it is true, but if it is an act it is very convincing.  Maybe it is something to do with the American right wing evangelical style fashion and make up and presentation style they use.  The church, not Premier Radio, often seems to be saying it has nothing to do with them.  Whether it is or isn’t, they are all stalking me and aiding and shielding, in their own way, stalkers and people heavy on prejudice and discrimination to completely ignore requests for help made to and through the right channels.  Man, it’s a cover up, so it is!  Stalking is wrong and illegal, regardless of how the person stalked ends up feeling about it, or failing to feel about it, because of the psychic attack manifested physically every time the begin powerfully to possess and express a convinced and convicted opinion.  My opinion does not change.  Because of the psychological trauma and horror of what happens the better a grasp and clarity I get about it (2 minutes ago the people upstairs started banging again) my power to move with the opinion remains non-existent, and these people’s power to continue to string me out remains something they take full advantage of.

I get paranoid when the banging happens like this, always on cue.  They do it in the middle of the night as well, it is like a hateful vigil. When it happens during the day, when I am typing like this, I think they must have the tv on or something and they are being told what to do.  But if I understand anything, they feel every shift in power towards me, and bang either because they think it helps them or to disempower me.  I am unwilling to engage with them at those times but always end up feeling I should have done, but the way they grab power is completely illegitimate, and once again, I feel hysterical and angry.  These people are savages, in action, no matter how nice they might appear on the outside.

I went to bed at about 6 am this morning, and as I was falling asleep I heard loud hammering on my door.  I don’t know who it was.  I thought it might be the police.  i was too tired to get up, and I fell asleep, and it became part of my dreams.  I woke up to silence, and I’m not sure if I imagined the whole thing.

They’re not that convincing on BBC World News, though.  They are obvious frauds.