Tag Archive: Misogyny


Constant Craving

Every single day my neighbour and his guests set up camp in their bungalow and start a vocal campaign.  It seems to be led mainly by a woman who doesn’t sound very old at all who doesn’t live there.  If I challenge her often the men start to sound angry, and they throw me around between them all day.  They seem to have made it their mission to ruin and control my day, every day.  If I make a strong statement that feels like truth and that feels empowering to me, a man will appear outside my bungalow and start making some sort of noise, clearing his throat or something, and sometimes it is several people together, just mouthing off outside my bungalow.  Harassing me, really.  This morning I said they were doing everything they could to make me present as sectionable while denying their own activities in relation to me (the woman has started chiming out strongly against me and I believe she is involved with hacking my computer), and immediately a man was outside my bungalow clearing his throat in a way which I found confrontational, contemptuous, threatening and harassing.  He must know it is harassment and it seems so wrong, it feels to me like an assumption of male domination of me and misogyny (they have started reacting again at this word).  I think it is Tony at number 13, next door but one to my neighbour and they often talk, posturing and positioning.  He’s done it before.  It was him I heard the other day reacting to something I read on Facebook, then to my post on Facebook saying it was happening, then to a comment I made about him in a private message.  In the end he and his wife had a little conversation, he said something like, ‘don’t worry, it doesn’t matter’, and laughed falsely and contemptuously.

I’ve called this post Constant Craving because that is what it feels like from these people.  The woman is someone I experience like a demonic, monstrous baby bird, taking the food from my mouth all the time, trying to starve me.  This morning I said, ‘angel torture from hackers and harassers’.  I hope I am free to say all this without people becoming opportunists about it and getting me hospitalised and back on drugs.  I think that would be really dishonest.  I don’t only think it, I know it, and so do they.

Advertisements

Stage 2 Medication

Where I am we have stages in medication.  I have just been put onto stage 2, which means I have been given a strip of four bubble wraps, one for each medication time, and my medication is in the bubbles appropriate to me.  I take it away with me at the beginning of the day and I take it, or not, on my own terms.

This is the perfect opportunity for me to not take my psychiatric medication.  I thought about not taking it and took it anyway.  The other stuff I have is anti-inflammatory for pain and stiffness in my upper arms, anti acid to counteract the effects of that, and multivitamins and minerals and omega 3-6-9 oils (vegan, bang the drum and be clear.  Made by a company called Vertese and available at Holland and Barrett).

I had a ring at my door about 20 minutes ago.  I felt nervous and defiant for a second and almost didn’t answer.  Then I thought it might be the postman, so I picked up my intercom phone and answered.  I said ‘hello’, 3 times, and there was no response.  Realistically I suspect it was my harassing neighbours, who shout and hallelujah and screw their voices round to ghostly and tap over my apartment, and worse, when I challenge them.

I was also afraid it might be the police, who might have come on the strength of what they have been told about my recent responses to the harassment, which have been desperate and unpleasant.  Every time I try mentally to break the feeling of my neighbours’ control and think for myself, she goes ‘hallelujah’ today, in a way which goes straight to my stomach.  As I said yesterday, people on UK news programmes are imitating them and me, and I think they are latching on to each other for control.  I’ve wonderd where they have got some of their information from, on BBC World News, and have thought perhaps my neighbours are recording it and passing it on.  It’s a good impression with some of the content. But my neighbours keep doing this spiritualistic stuff which is harassment, and are they also passing stuff on to the media, who got them started in the first place?  I know they did, because of what they were saying and dumb-showing.

Anyway, within 5 minutes of my doorbell ringing, I had an email land in my spam folder, claiming to be an invitation from an organisation called ‘Someone2Do’.  Police do people, right?  Who is responsible for this?  I get a lot of situationally and relationally relevant emails like this and have for years.

I get really afraid and desperate.  Am I the only person who can understand why and doesn’t think it is abnormal that I should or a sign of mental illness?  People have been insisting for years that it is a sign of mental illness.  i think it is a sign of some sort of gang or mafia type stalking, if not government.  You say this kind of thing and media people always treat it as a joke and the person who thinks it as crazy.  But a lot of people know it is anything but, so what do these people have to hide that they consistently treat it and us with anger and intimidation and contempt and ridicule?  The woman on now has just said ‘our team’ like RT, as in R T Kendall.  Sophie someone, one of the many Sofie’s who has come out since I have been in Bulgaria (Sofia is the capital of Bulgaria).

Edit note:  While I was writing this someone started with a drill upstairs.  I’m wondering now if it was him come to explain that he was doing some work.  But no one answered my door when I answered the bell.  It isn’t OK.

WAGblog: Dum Spiro Spero

"While I breathe, I hope"

Emerging From The Dark Night

Working through the Dark Night of the Soul to emerge as me.

The Elephant in the Room

Writing about my experiences with: depression, anxiety, OCD and Aspergers

The Sir Letters

A Tale of Love

The Seeker's Dungeon

Troubling the Surf with the Ocean

Seroquel Nation

Onward and upward...

We are all in this together

it's gonna be okay.

my last nerve

psychology | psychiatry | neuroscience | n stuff

A Philosopher's Blog

A Philosopher's View of the World...assuming it exists.