Tag Archive: Selfishness

Robin Williams 2

It isn’t possible to know what was in Robin Williams’ mind when he committed  suicide, as there has been no mention of a suicide note.

We are all in the dark.

It emerged today through his widow that he was in the early stages of Parkinson’s Disease.

That might have been a factor in his suicide, it might even have been the deciding factor.

He might have done it for himself, he might have done it for those who would have had to care for him,

His mind might not have been clear at all in determining his final act.

Some of us are left wondering who he was, and feeling a bit betrayed.

Maybe there is something in the assertion that suicide is selfish.

(My father committed suicide.  I was 11.  I have missed him and made excuses for him to myself for years  I have felt a responsibility to understand and love him.  I have to see myself and my experience as separate, the burden of responsibility and identification is too great.)

Whatever may emerge, we don’t know why he killed himself, not really.

We can only guess and maybe come to a conclusion that is most comfortable for us, that we feel we can understand.

I feel sorry that he has gone this way.

He was obviously in great pain.

Why this need to make a god and a benchmark of a frail and aging man?

“It’s All About You”

I heard someone say something recently and he sounded as if he could be talking about . . . well, never mind, anyway.

I was just thinking earlier as I made do with some packet apple and cinammon pancakes because I have run out of just about everything else, if someone tries to get in on something you’re doing and finds they can’t, that you’re not open to it, and they therefore go away and say, “it’s all about you, you’re not bothered about anybody else”, guess who just did a projection job.

If I’m doing something and someone else can’t get in, it doesn’t mean it’s all about me, it just means it isn’t about them.  Does that make sense?  Because I’m doubting it myself now.  I’m thinking if it isn’t about me then anyone should be able to get in whenever they want.  But if it’s about focus and openness to something or someone other than the person who wants to get in, is that true?

I’m thinking about meditation.  People say, ‘accept what comes, accept the distractions’.  But that doesn’t mean stop and go with them or even affirm them, does it?  No, of course it doesn’t.  I’m being stupid.

I answer myself, have you noticed?  No one else does, so I might as well have the whole argument!

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