Tag Archive: Vegetarian Restaurants


Satan Sandwich

I heard this term used in the news a short while ago in relation to something to do with US politics.  But you can have a satan sandwich, but it isn’t spelt that way, it is seitan.  It is also not supposed to be pronounced that way, the word is Asian in origin.  It is a vegan wheat gluten meat replacement, and I just found out it is sometimes referred to as mock duck.

I’ve been meaning to do this for ages, I just made myself a steak sandwich using seitan and the usual trimmings, and it was delicious.  For all the world, having eaten it, I can’t tell it wasn’t a traditional steak sandwich that I ate.  I made it with seitan from Kring, natural style, I think.  They also do spiced and chicken style.  Kring is a restaurant (full menu here) in Sofia which sells its products on the premises and also in some shops, in Sofia, Plovdiv and Ruse.  Their products are delicious, and for me as a vegan they are one of the saving graces of Bulgaria.  If you guys at Kring read this – hi, I love you, thanks for my great steak sandwich lunch!  And thanks for who you are too.  I really love you.  And I very much appreciate the addition of your gorgeously light vegan chocolate cake to your menu.  I haven’t tried the carrot cake yet, I am sure it is as good.

I get embarrassed trying to say ‘seitan’, because the obvious way appears to be ‘satan’, but that isn’t right.  But if you are insistent on trying to say it the right way people can think ‘methinks the lady doth protest too much’.  I bought a vegan cookery book when I first became a vegan, and it had a recipe called ‘seitanic’ something or other, and I was offended.  I like seitan, but I wish it was called something else.  As I said, I was offended, but now I wonder if using it in that way was just a way of emphasising the awkwardness and embarrassment and turning it into humour.  Seitan isn’t an English word.  It wasn’t designed to invoke ideas of satan.  I just read its most likely origin is Japan, which would make it a compound of two words, sei, meaning ‘to be’, or ‘to become’, and tan, meaning ‘protein’.

Obviously in England you can use the word subversively, and maybe that is where my embarrassment comes from, because there have been times when I have felt a certain glee in being able to do so, to express my own brassed off-ness, and be aware of the ambiguity and the fact that it is the name of a vegan food stuff.  People use those kinds of ambiguities all the time, as I have said elsewhere on this blog.  That is why, in serious situations where I feel people could use their power to hurt me, I tend not to trust them unless they state their wants and intentions in a legally recognisable and accountable way.  Sometimes there is too much at stake (no pun intended but immediately recognised) not to insist on that.

OK I’ll stop there.  I seem to have come to a standstill and I don’t think there is anything else I wanted to say in this post.

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Dear Clyde Sandry

You can go off people, you know!

I’ve just listened to most of your sermon this Sunday, and you are using words you have somehow got from my recent communications with other people and off the back of them you are shouting at me.  “Dearth”, for instance, is one of those words, which I used in an email to someone whose spirituality would be abhorrent to you.

If I had really understood before what I believe I understand now, I could have resisted you awful, monstrous impressions of Christians years ago.

You are using my love against me, and are trying to force me for some reason to take a path, even though you have used the law against me, that does not resolve my situation through the proper application of the law which has become necessary through your own actions with regard to me.

David Shearman, since my mid teens, has treated me as a thing loathed and despised.  I knew no better than to keep trying to win his love and approval, hoping one day I would be impressive enough for him.  I used to think, at least 90%, that if I came to church driving a nice car and looking in control of my life, I might have a bit of a chance of something.

If these people have somehow been persuaded to pass my emails on to you and to treat me as you have historically treated me yourselves, then all of you, normally having no time for each other’s spirituality, have come together to force/control/exclude/invalidate me, and that, if it is true in any detail, is disgusting of all of you.

You know how much I long for a kind and loving touch.  You must do, you seem to have access to my communications.  I want to tell you, in your 1950’s attire and mimicking what you have heard of me on the phone in years gone by before you even start to speak (William Lee does the same thing), you are monstrous dogs and I hope I somehow manage to recover what is left of my life and to live without you.

You are complete moral cowards.  You throw reminders of my childhood at me that you seem to have gathered from my family somehow (how did you persuade them?), all the time knowing I just want to be contacted and spoken to normally and told what you want, but you either will not or dare not take that route, and keep piling the pressure on me until my health and confidence are breaking down.

Although I feel inclined to beg, given the material you have been using, I wish to completely disassociate myself from all the methods you are using to put pressure on me and force a response.  I can’t see why you need to hide in this way.

My only access to you is through legal means.  Yours is riddled with illegality.

If David Shearman’s sermon last Sunday was preached last Sunday, why does he say in it that he has been speaking to his father, who died two years ago?

I can’t fight you, you are too strong for me, both in number and in your ability to use years of love, hope and pain against me, in your apparent ability to persuade people to help you and believe they are being helped by you in putting me under your illegal authority (unless you are getting everything from hacking my computer), and in your stupid, bullish bullying.  If this is how you treat vulnerable and legally disenfranchised people when you are desperate (and it is, I know from past experience), I don’t want anything to do with you ever again, I want you to take your hands off me and everything to do with me, shut up and tell people what you have been doing to me and the fears you have been playing on.

You are gross and I hate you.  I don’t care who is impressed with you, I have been up close since my teens and I know better.   I want you to leave me alone and I want nothing else to do with you.  You are perverse in your harassment, and dishonest.  If you want me to change my mind on that then you have a bit of repenting and apologising to do, to me, with other people’s knowledge.

Although inwardly I am crying, and afraid to take such a stand towards people who have claimed to represent Jesus to me for so long and have claimed a right to acknowledgment of that fact, I will not change my mind and I will not come to you, crying or otherwise.  You are being deliberately provocative because you are too proud to be honest about your sin to a much younger woman that you have harmed.

All on my own, with my own squeaky little mouse voice, knowing how much you can still hurt and rape and provoke, deliberately, if I continue to listen to you (in the sense of hear your words over the internet), I say something I am not supposed to say and something which is completely against my nature to say to you, and that is, “go to hell, all of you”.  Your words are a complete molestation, posturing as intimate and discrete, there is nothing discrete about them, they are plain, criminal cowardice.  I hate what you are doing, you are making me ill.

If you want my help you can ask for it, otherwise I will never go back on anything I have said here, and if I do, I will be wrong.

Vegetarian Bulgaria Sucks!

Here I am in Bulgaria, right?  Sofia, to be exact.

I checked Happycow.net for vegetarian restaurant outlets in Bulgaria, and the only ones seem to be in Sofia.  Only two of those are completely vegetarian, and don’t the buggers feel their power!

The food is great, but I have never experienced such harassment anywhere.

I got to Sofia, eventually, yesterday, hoping to go to my favourite vegetarian restaurant, which turns out to be closed until 15th August.

Why is it my favourite restaurant?  Is it because English media has been flooded, to my mind, at least, with images of it and suggestions that that is where I should go?  I am a very suggestible person, and I might have got that wrong.

So here I am, back in the only viable alternative, really – Dream House, the restaurant where one of the chefs broke into an aggressive cackle and said I was restaurant crawling (but not to ME, you understand), and then, the last time I was here, he put a CD on, just as I was leaving, which was what I understand to be heavy metal, saying something about a man shoving his cock in a woman’s mouth (please excuse me, those are the words of the song, which I need to repeat so you can understand how sexually molested I felt as I left that day.

Anyway, today here I am, having needed somewhere to eat.  It started off OK, I was fairly much in control of how I was relating and of my experience.  The man didn’t seem to be around, so that felt safe enough.

I watched some TV on the internet, yesterday’s news, and as I was packing up to go the woman behind the desk said, in English, ‘she’s so rude!’

When I went to pay, I asked her about it, and she denied that it had happened.  She said she always spoke in Bulgarian,  So I said possibly it had been a customer, and accepted I might have been wrong.  Then she became defiant and started laughing at me, saying it was my paranoia, not  theirs. Like, it’s paranoid to call restaurant staff on their rudeness and be upset when they lie about it, especially when my own reason for adopting veganism was spiritual and moral.  I don’t get it.

Anyway, no one stuck up for me, and just now the second girl on shift sat down with a couple of friends, and they were turning round and looking at me and talking.  I can only assume that they were saying what had happened.  They seem to think there is never an excuse for being angry, at least not for me, but they themselves are so rude and either they don’t care about putting it right, or they have strange ideas of how they should.

I hate Bulgaria so far. Every time I try and adjust that and be happy I’m faced with the same stuff.  I have no idea what they are trying to do.  Do they want a bit of me to rub off on them because I am English and they think I am charmed?  I’ve got to praying, ‘OK, God, let them have it.  Let them know how it feels to be me.  Let them experience it themselves’.  I hope they do.  RT et al are dishonest people hiding in the shadows if they refuse to recognise that imprecatory prayers belong to the New Testament as well as the Old.  Peter and Paul both prayed them.  RT et al are hiding behind cowardly dishonesty if they refuse people’s right today to do the same thing.  Anyway, these guys here think they are above anything negative.  I have to carry it on my own, and it’s my problem if I have a problem with that.  It’s my problem if I don’t like restaurant staff calling me rude, laughing with each other, then when I ask them about it they deny it and laugh at me, calling me paranoid.  Squeeky clean vegetarian restaurant, even when they are being abusive.  I’m the one that is supposed to come down out of my miff tree, and if it wasn’t an expectation that I was being vilified for not meeting, that would be the most comfortable thing for me to do.

Fuck em.  It’s not that I don’t care.  How can I not in a situation with such limited options that I thought was going to be good but has turned out to be so thuggishly cruel?

But fuck em anyway.

The worst thing is, when push comes to shove, my ‘favourite’ restaurant is just as bad.  Yesterday I felt we could make progress.  Why?  never mind.  But I get the impression they are reporting me to each other, so I suppse today’s people are going to mess it up for me, even if it could have turned round.  How is it that I always manage to end up being made to feel like the one in the wrong?

Shortly after I came in the man said ‘Jesus’.  In view of the fact that he has subsequently been completely offensive to me and allowed his staff to be (is he the owner?) without making an effort to put it right, I find that in itself completely offensive.  I’m tired of feeling I have to go through life making allowances for everyone but myself.

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